Some days you will feel on top of the world. Other days, you will wonder if anything has changed at all.
If I am honest, healing is more like a tangled ball of yarn. I joke, but it can sure feel that way.
If we were to map it out as a diagram or a chart, the line would look a lot like the swirl of a tornado. It circles around but as it moves up it gets wider. That is the part we forget when we are deep in a down.
We are always evolving
Here is the thing. We as humans are always evolving, always learning, and that is a continual practice. It does not have an end point. There is no finish line where you get to be done.
When we heal something, or for those who do not resonate with the word healing, let us say when we learn why we have an unresourceful behaviour or reaction, we gain an awareness of it. And with that awareness comes choice. We can start to see the thing that activated us, and choose to respond differently.
Awareness is not the same as being fixed
And here is the other important thing to remember. Just because we are aware of an activation, and we have the tool to see it, that does not mean the wound is fixed for good.
As we grow and evolve and shift into a different level of awareness, that same pattern will likely come up again. Sometimes it will feel amplified, because we are meeting it as a different person, a different version of ourselves.
This is where the real change happens. When we see the same wound, recognise it for what it is, and choose to respond differently. We will often be given the same opportunity to heal something over and over, until it is fully integrated into our body and sitting safely in our nervous system.
A repeat is not always a failure
So please, remember this. Just because something has repeated, it does not mean you have failed.
Maybe you did not learn the lesson and it is a loop. And maybe it is actually a sign that you are a higher vibration of yourself, being met with another opportunity to grow. It is not a circle that keeps landing you back where you started, it is a spiral that moves upward.
You are not going backwards. You are going around, and up. Sometimes you just need help seeing it.